Clubbing
by black0039
Summary: Our character goes out one night, bored off to the club. Might continue if i get a few positive reviews. A short story, includes a few songs, in order they are Ironic- Bo Burnham, then Swing Tavi Swing and then A Tropical Octav3, so go check em out.


**Alright, time to put out a random chapter, sleep deprived, awake with caffeine and right after 4 hours of reading sadistic fanfictions. LET'S DO THIS.**

I walked into the building, the music immediately assaulting my eardrums, the combination of lights and darkness disorienting me, the scent of sweat and alcohol in the air. 'Good old nightclubs' I thought to myself, making my way through the crowd of ponies. I sat down at the bar, and a dull yellow unicorn mare came over.

"What can I get ya?" she asked, pulling down a shot glass, filling it and levitating it to a pony farther down the bar.

"I don't know," I said, placing my head down on the bar, my red mane falling over my eyes. "A hint on what to do with me life?" I said, jokingly. She chuckled at that remark.

"Can't do that, but I can get a drink"

"Saddle Arabian Fireball Whiskey please" I said, throwing a hoof-full of bits on the counter. She nodded, scooped up the bits and returned with a bottle and a shot glass.

"Here you are sir, please, try to get outside before passing out this time" she said, smiling. I nodded, and grabbed the metal cap with my teeth, popping it off, and pouring myself a shot, downing it immediately. A grey mare came up and sat next to me, and the yellow mare returned. "What can I get ya Ma'am?" She asked.

"Just a glass of red wine please" she said, placing three bits down on the bar. The bartender turned, grabbing a glass off the rack, while magically pulling out a tall slender green bottle.

"So how have you been Sparky?" The grey mare asked, accepting the glass of alcohol from the yellow mare. I poured myself another shot, and downed it, before looking over at her.

"Surprisingly well Tavi." I replied, a smirk coming across my face. "How are you?" I asked, pouring myself another shot.

"I've been better" she replied, resting her head on her hoof, looking over at the Dj. "I came here because being in the house got boring when Vinyl isn't there." She flipped her head and looked at me again. "How's your child?" she asked, taking a sip of her wine. I downed another glass, beginning to feel the buzz of the alcohol.

"Scoots is alright, she's just got a job at the weather factory." I sighed and ran my hoof through my mane. "Can't believe she's already fifteen. I'm getting old" She laughed, picking her head up, and cracking her back, due to the discomfort of the bar stools.

"I feel ya Shadow" she said, resting her head again. "but don't worry about it, how about you and go out sometime, walk through the forest?" She said, smiling.

"You forget I live in the forest? I walk through it every day" I said, which was replied to with a laugh.

"I suppose so" she said, then the music died down, and Vinyl's voice came over the mic.

"Alright, so far so good guys. Let's give the music players a break and get some LIVE entertainment up here. Shadow, buddy, I know you're here, get your flank up here." She said, I sighed and smiled at Octavia, before walking up to the stage, tripping over a cord on the way over to Vinyl. She gestured back at the piano and I nodded. I walked over, sat down, and transformed back into a human. I looked down at the microphone mounted above the keyboard and I sighed.

"Well, shit." I said, adjusting my fedora. "I don't have any good ones, but here's a, uh." I swallowed. "Here's a song, about the idea of irony, written by a very funny man, back in my world. This is Ironic, by Bo Burnham. Slightly modified, of course." I turned to the keyboard and began the tune.

"My manticore's stomach was very upset, so I put him in the cart and we went to the vet. And on our way to the vet, I killed a griffon, Heeeeey, I said well isn't that ironic." The crowd began to laugh, which made me glad they had a sense of dark humor.

"I adopted a filly from overseas, to rescue her from rainbow factories, and on her very first birthday, we went to go see Rainbow Dash, Heeeeey, I said, well isn't that ironic." There was more laughter, plus a whoop from a certain cyan mare in the crowd.

"Isnt that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C"

"A water park has burned to the ground, and a, repair cart, was broken down. I always used to cry when I laughed, and then I was raped by a clown" I paused and gave the crowd a disgusted look, before resuming.

"Isn't that ironic."

"I was watching Luna on ENN, she was talking and walking and walking and then, out of boredom, my pet manticore shot himself." A roar of laughter shot up from the crowd, so far the biggest.

"I was dating a plant's rights activist, and one day, she got really pissed, I was eating meat that was wrapped in poison joke." It was silent "Poison? No" then laughter came. I leaned away from the mic and yelled the crowd. "You had your chance!"

"Isn't that, I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C."

"I'm an immortal being, but I like to waste my time,

I didn't write this cause I could-not-rhyme"

Laughter came from the audience, and I continued.

"Isnt that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C-I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C" I finished, holing the last C for an extended time, not knowing how to continue. I turned, leaning my face next to the mic.

"That was terrible" I said, after a few seconds of silence, responded with laughter. "Alright, next song, Tavi, get up here ya old mare" I said, jokingly. She walked up, and Vinyl handed her a mic as well. "Alright, Vinyl, get on that drum set, we're swinging here tonight" I said, as I began to play the fast paced beat, Vinyl playing her part.

"You're singing by the way Octi" I whispered loudly through the mic, making everyone laugh. The song started, and Vinyl cut back, as well as I.

"If it's groove you're looking foooooor" she began, her melodic voice draping the audience in a cloud of smiles. "Then you've come to the right plaaaaaace" She did a little spin, then started to walk across the stage as she sang. "Octavia, can't you seeeeeee, Classical's not the type for meeee" Vinyl and I began the background 'ah's'

"Now don't you look the other waaaaay, Cause this music's here to staaaaay. Now wipe that grin right off your faaaace. I'tll all be gone when you step into this place" We picked up the music as the chorus started.

"So put down that Cello, and go grab that bass, cause we're swinging here tonight, this aint no fancy music place. You just gotta let it go from everything that tells you no, even if this is not your type of shooooow, your type of show." I played my piano solo, and we moved onto the second verse.

"Maybe you've learned a thing for twooooo, about how fast these hooves can groooove. Now come on, just take a chaaaance, these beats will put you win a trance." We started out ah's again.

"Now these thing you can't forgeeeeeet, it will only bring regreeeet. Now there's one thing you must knoooow, we can't stop this crowd from stomping on the floor." I picked up the music, starting the chorus.

"So put down the Cello, and go grab that bass, cause we're swinging here tonight, this aint no fancy music place. You just gotta let it go, from everything that tells you no, even if this is not your type of show" I played solo piano as Octavia walked over and picked up an electric guitar, she walked back over and leaned up against my piano, and began to play her solo, which im still not sure how she can play with her hooves. The chorus started up again, and she put the guitar down and continued to sing.

"So put down the Cello, and go grab that bass, cause we're swinging here tonight, this aint no fancy music place. You just gotta let it go, from everything that tells you no, even if this is not your type of show, just let it go" We finished, and the crowd applauded. Vinyl got up and took the mic from Octavia, and returned to her seat behind her turntables, and I leaned up to the mic, then detached it, and stood up, took it to Vinyl, and traded it in for a mountable mic, put it on, then turned back into a pony, then faced the crowd.

"For this final song, I always found it easier to do while in pony form, but Vinyl, track thirty two." She pressed a few buttons on the soundboard, and a tune began to come over the speakers, like a synthesia version of an island song. "Alright, lets go, this is one I wrote when me, Octavia and Vinyl got stranded due to a mishap me learning magic, but alright."

"You may call it a crash, I call it a fly in:  
>Here to perform on this desert-ed island<br>Jealous, cause I leave a pony smilin'?  
>You need to chill, cause you knowin' who I am<p>

Out here, no cell phone service  
>With a blank stare, it don't serve its purpose<br>Not worthless, look under the surface  
>Clear blue sea and these ponies are shirtless<p>

Spectacular, you don't speak tree  
>The vernacular, you. know it beats me;<br>Never mastered words, it isn't easy.  
>Leave a wreck afterwards, so Tavi please please<p>

I need a beat- we need an atlas,  
>I need a drink, but we're rather mapless<br>At an impasse- pass me the track list  
>Trackless in fact, though I lack this, I blast this."<p>

I began to fly over the crowd as I rapped.

"Not known to be patient  
>So far from home- from our Equestrian nation<br>Miss the standing ovation  
>Miss the lights and the stage: what a grand innovation-<p>

Pain is bass: heavy, I drop it  
>Smile in place, don't know you got it<br>Don't always get what you're hopin' for  
>More worry than a bat with a Jokermort<p>

But we're still breathing  
>And the sunset is setting so sweetly this evening.<br>Know you're thinking of leaving,  
>But though it seems hopeless, I hope you believe me.<p>

It's an issue not insurmountable  
>Never was a test, no one holds you accountable,<br>Can't advance in life without stressin',  
>But worry defeats, let me teach you a lesson<p>

Life is full of problems- life is full of hurtin'-  
>But it's hardest to solve when your mind isn't certain<br>That you're on the right path, right track- what's that?  
>Don't know where we are, but I know where we're at.<p>

Gallop-agos Islands, I'm here with you  
>Don't pick sides when it's only we two<br>Don't brood, what did I do?  
>You're my best friend, there's no need to argue!<p>

To have a good time I don't need your permission,  
>But time'll crawl by when's work's inefficient.<br>Know that you're raring to go and get fishin'.  
>But, Tavi, Tavi, stop and just listen!<p>

We'll carry on, somebody gets you,  
>So sing your song, the melody will let you<br>Get your worries gone. Celest'll bless you.  
>New day will dawn; we'll focus on our rescue"<p>

I began to sing this part,  
>"1 2 3 Tavi dance with me!<br>Though we're lost at sea depressed is  
>just no way to be, come on let's<br>take things slow  
>help is on its way I know so,<br>We've nowhere to go!"

I noticed Vinyl and Octavia blushing, and I smiled, continuing to fly over the crowd of ponied.

Call it crash, or call it a fly in  
>Here to perform on this desert-ed island<br>Jealous, cause I leave a pony smilin'?  
>You need to chill, cause you know just who I am<p>

Out here, no cell phone service  
>With a blank stare, it don't serve its purpose<br>Not worthless, look under the surface  
>Clear blue sea and these ponies are shirtless."<p>

I finished, landing on the stage, then the crowd erupted in stomps, cheering.

"Thanks Vinyl", I said handing back the mic, walking back to the bar, I got a lot of pats on the back, and questions. The music started up again and I picked up on my drinking.

"Back to this" I said, Octavia laughing next to me.

"You'll never change Sparky" she said, standing up and walking out of the club, leaving me with my Whiskey.


End file.
